Saturday, November 14, 2009

Compulsive Tax Increase Disorder

An Islamic terrorist murders 13 soldiers and wounds dozens more.  National news media and the administration can not bring themselves to call it an act of Islamic terrorism so they invent a psychological ailment to excuse it:   the poor chap had “Pre” Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PPTSD.   Excessive lap dances at the local strip club exacerbated the condition.

As it's now fashionable to contrive psycho-medical conditions to excuse bad, inept, even homicidal behavior, my entry in the medical lexicon is CTID:   Compulsive Tax Increase Disorder.

This terrible disease strikes elected officials.   It is pandemic in the Federal, State and even local governments, with School Districts showing the highest rates of affliction.

A debilitating malady, CTID attacks the central nervous system, preventing reason from entering the cranial cavity.   In a typical progression of the disease:  (1)  You watch a recession destroy business income, consumer confidence, economic vitality, jobs, and sales tax revenue.  (2)   You fall substantially behind in your budget, because the previous year you caught a case of BADD (Budget Analysis Deficit Disorder).   (3)  You desperately seek a new source of revenue instead of cutting your budget.  (4)  You are blinded to the reality that an increase in tax, especially property tax, will contribute to negative economic growth, thus reducing your overall tax receipts.  That is to say, you think the serfs who pay the tax will continue to fork it over, without consequence.   (5)  You increase taxes.   This is the final and most deadly stage.

If you suffer from these symptoms and hold elective office, you have CTID.   Immediate treatment is required.

Effective therapy for this disease involves a brutal, two-step treatment.   First, read the entire text of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act.  After grief counseling, pour three fingers of Glenlivet in a glass and add a splash of hard-boiled reality.   Drink and repeat.   Repeat again if needed.   If treatment is fully effective, you will be cured.   You will at last understand that constantly increasing taxes depresses an economy and erodes the tax base.  You will realize that lowering the tax burden stimulates growth and investment and increases net tax receipts.   Even a partial cure should at least relieve the urge to vote for a tax increase.  This is just as good.  

An emergency treatment kit is in development, consisting of an inhaler and a pocket-sized coloring book featuring inspirational quotes from Robert Mugabe, visionary architect of Zimbabwe’s stone age economy.   Once available, it is recommended that local officials take preemptive treatment before budget meetings.

Show concern and support for elected officials afflicted with CTID by wearing an awareness ribbon on your lapel.   The proper color scheme is red ink fading to black.

Be vigilant for symptoms of this disease and its related affliction, TPBRS, Tax Payer Bewilderment and Resentment Syndrome.   I think I feel symptoms of that one coming on right now.   The Glenlivet anyone?

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