Staycation

The deliciously vulgar display of nouveau riche exhibitionism in Saturday's Democrat and Chronicle prompted one of our readers to offer his own recent memoir.

Herewith, our correspondent's report on his own Rochester "staycation."

"Arriving at the Greyhound terminal, our hopes and dreams were dashed.   Severe flooding in northern New Jersey had forced cancellation of our long-awaited trip to Atlantic City.   Although we'd miss the friends from Bayonne we planned to travel with, it was an opportunity to enjoy, right here in Rochester, some of the things we might have done in A.C.

"First things first.   Day one found us heading east, to the reservation outside Syracuse for discount cigs. Then came the hard decision of the day, choosing among our favorites for dinner -- Keystone Light or Genny Cream? (Tops had the best price).

"Hangover can't spoil a celebratory mood.   Our second day was for livin' large.   Off to Walmart -- new seatcovers for the pickup and formal dress rhinestone flip-flops for the little woman.   OK, maybe not so little anymore, but in the words of Spinal Tap, "the deeper the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'."   You know what I mean.

"Then off to a fun urban evening.   Bringing out the Harley (only 12 more years of payments!) from behind what we proudly consider the finest mobile home in the park, we roared into Rochester with the wind in our hair and the bugs in our teeth.   Ripping down Monroe on the Hog, the sweet smell of maryjane beckoned us to an old favorite establishment.   How better to celebrate than with . . .  new tattoos!   No such thing as 'too many.'

"On to the Woodshed, where we compared new tats and piercings with friends who had been to an RPO concert.

"As the third day of sunshine dawned, the government check arrived.   The old lady decided this made it a day for family.   We rounded up her kids, their fathers, my kids, their mothers and all the grandkids for a three keg blowout.   Family's what counts.   That and my very special lady, soon to be a great - grandmom at 39!   Hey -- "The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand," to quote Spinal Tap again.

"And her grandkids!   My favorite, little Kortnee, barely 14 and looking smokin' hot these days, beckoned me to linger for more tequila shots.

"Sadly, the time flew by, without visits to Batavia Downs or the Finger Lakes Racino.   While disappointed by our cancelled trip, only Rochester could offer such a terrific alternative."

We're delighted to publish this affirmation of our region's delights, as a more dignified counterpoint to the regrettable essay in Saturday's D&C.